03/27/2024
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By Cara Beth Lewis

With a variety of devices at our fingertips and a world that revolves around technology, it is easy to get caught up in the digital world and forget the real world around you is there, too. With that being said, many people are offended by those who seem to have a magnetic attachment to their devices, while many others are guilty of the crime.

The question is – when does the usage of mobile devices become “rude?” The constant checking of cell phones, for example, is often an issue. Many people seem to feel the need to immediately check the notification and respond as soon as we hear that “ding.” Let’s be honest – that is an easy habit to be guilty of. In a technology-driven world, cell phones are often at the top of our priority list.

There are certain places where it’s obvious that phone usage should be avoided: professional business meetings, during lectures, in a courtroom… you get the gist. But what about those more controversial places like on a dinner date, during a movie, or even during just a casual conversation?

Now, let’s hold that thought for a moment while we think about what etiquette is at its core – respect, consideration, and honesty. The next question is, how are those three principles applied to mobile device usage?

Each situation is unique. Maybe you are using your phone in a way that contributes to the conversation. For example, perhaps you are settling a debate by researching to find the answer, or maybe you are showing a photo of the impressive dinner you made last night and sharing a link to the recipe.

While there are totally innocent ways to use your devices for the benefit of a conversation, devices can also be a major hindrance when it comes to face-to-face human interactions. We have all been in a restaurant and seen a couple with their faces buried in their phones, neither saying a word to the other. Maybe that is you, or maybe you are the person that is silently observing and shaking your head. When it comes to devices, many of us are hypocrites.

A statistic from the recent Intel study states: 92 percent of Americans wish people practiced better etiquette when it comes to using their mobile devices in public.

As far as etiquette goes regarding devices, my advice is “read the room.” In a professional setting, silence your phone and place it in your pocket or purse so you can give your undivided attention to the discussion at hand. When on a date, consider leaving your phone in the car and focus on verbal communication with the person across the table from you. If you are a person who just can’t help but check to see who it is every time you hear a “ding,” keep your phone on silent and out of sight when you know you are in a situation where phone usage is inappropriate.

Consideration and respect are key in these situations. By providing undivided attention, you are showing both respect and consideration.

If we are being honest, cell phones can be obnoxious, distracting, annoying, and rude. According to EmilyPost.com, “Cell phones are everywhere—and that means more chances for them to be used in a rude or annoying way.”

Here are four tips for good cell phone manners (Emily Post – 4 Essential Cell Phone Rules):

Turn it off. If the ringing of your phone is going to bother the people around you—especially if you’re in a meeting, at a play or movie or concert, or in a quiet place like a library or church—turn your phone off or switch the ringer to silent or vibrate mode.

Step away. Whenever you’re around other people and you receive or make a cell phone call, move a short distance away so that you can talk without disturbing the people around you. If you’re with a group, simply excuse yourself for a few minutes: “Sorry, I need to take this call. I’ll be right back.” Then keep the call as brief as possible.

Don’t say anything personal, private, or confidential if you’re in a place where others might be able to overhear you. Instead, arrange a time to call back when you can speak privately.

Watch the volume. For some reason, people’s “phone voices” are always louder than the voice they use in normal conversation. Add to that the noise of a busy sidewalk or the background noise of a public place, and the urge to shout can become overwhelming. But remember—you’re the one fighting to hear over the noise, not the person you’re speaking with. So give everyone a break, and remember to tone it down.

Read previous articles from the Etiquette Series:

What is Etiquette?

Social Etiquette in Everyday Conversations

Proper Introductions

I Hear Wedding Bells… What do I wear?

Professional Etiquette, Even When It’s Hard

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