Just because you can do something doesn’t always mean you should.
It’s a subject I’ve written on before; I’m not just referring to those earnest souls determined to recreate dinosaurs. I’m not even that worried about the ones who announced recently that they aren’t far from being able to create a hybrid human that wouldn’t be out of place on the fictional Island of Dr. Moreau.
If you haven’t seen it, find the classic from 1977, with Burt Lancaster and Michael York, not the soft-core porn piece with Marlon Brando and Val Kilmer. Better yet, read the book by H.G. Wells.
I sincerely doubt these well-meaning scientists would actually create a Boarman, who was such a tragic character. I do applaud the fact that they can and will “grow” organs to help people, although I admit I am troubled at the ethics of using animals to do so. I have to ponder on that a while, although the mice who “grew” human ears lived happily ever after, after said ears were removed and attached to the person in need of ears.
Mad scientists aside, my concern is with our friends at Boston Dynamics.
I was entranced a few years ago when they created the BigDog, although I didn’t care for their lack of a space before a capital letter. BigDog is a load-bearing, four-legged, all-terrain robot designed for the military. Not only can it carry ammunition, supplies, equipment, etc., but the creators were working to make the BigDog able to retrieve injured soldiers on a battlefield, like one of those St. Bernard rescue dogs with a barrel of brandy under its neck. No word as to whether they would call the rescue version a BigBernard.
I was disturbed by the BigDog video because the researchers seemed to take a particular pleasure in tormenting the robot, whether it was trying to keep its footing on ice, or desperately trying to perform another task. I understand they had to prove its abilities, but they seem to be having too much fun doing so.
Since then, the folks at BD have gotten even worse with their cybernetic bullying.
Take for example, Atlas.
Atlas looks like a fairly friendly robot. It walks on two feet, like humans. Atlas can pick up boxes, move them around, and even put a specific item in a specific place when told to do so. The BD video even shows Atlas and the creator out for a walk, enjoying the sunshine (which I wasn’t entirely sure they had in Massachusetts.) Atlas reminds me of a little kid, albeit a very expensive six-foot-tall kid without much of a personality.
Then the bullying starts. It’s enough to make a decent person root for the robot rebellion.
The technician places a box in front of Atlas, and Atlas picks it up. Then said hipster scientist knocks the box down with a large stick. Forgiving fellow that it is, Atlas picks it up again, and the human knocks it down, then plays keep away with the robot. He even pokes poor Atlas with the stick. I kept hoping Atlas would find his own stick and bow up a little, especially after the bully – err, demonstrator – knocked Atlas down with a blow from behind.
Poor Atlas curled into a ball before hitting the floor, and looked for all the world like a little kid who’s been beaten up on the playground. Then the ‘bot stretches out, hesitates a little (as if expecting another sucker punch) and stands up again.
Unlike some of Atlas’ cousins, such as the Cheetah, Atlas is kind of slow. Atlas can’t climb like the RiSE, which is just plain creepy in more ways than one; nor can Atlas jump 30 feet in the air like SandFlea. PetMan is not designed as a cyber companion, as one might think, but was created to help test gear like chemical-protection suits and even firefighter’s turnout gear. Ergo, PetMan is fairly tough.
But Atlas? All Atlas wants to do is work and get along with everyone, and all he gets is beaten up by a bully. Atlas has a lot in common with the average hardworking American, now that I think about it.
The good folks at BD honestly don’t mean to be bullies, I am sure. If they do, their own newest creation may be their downfall.
Handle is kind of a scary forklift; it has wheels, and arms. Handle is very nimble and well-balanced. It can avoid obstacles, jump, and reach forward or backward to pick up a couple hundred pounds.
Handle is also fast – very fast. So far, not quite as fast as the humans who may have to run from Handle. BD Founder Marc Raibert actually seems to regret that
“It’s still a little slower than a human,” he told an interviewer, “but we’re working on getting it to go faster and faster. And better.”
All I could think of was how I was once being tormented by some older kids, and my Brother Mike came to my rescue. Mike has never been a very large man, but he’s a strong one, and has a well-defined sense of right and wrong. Just the look on his face was enough to send the bullies packing.
For the sake of science, or at least the scientists, I hope Handle doesn’t have that type of brotherly bond with Atlas. If they do bond, the technician with the stick is going to find out if his boss has completed that speed package for Handle.
For that matter, what if Atlas and BigDog become friends, and BigDog, like its namesake, goes to Atlas’ defense? Or RiSE hears a fellow-bot’s distress, climbs to the ceiling, and drops down on the technician like something from a scifi movie?
Ridiculous, you say?
Just remember that 25 years ago, people laughed at the idea of cloning dinosaurs. Now scientists are just a few years from using cows to carry wooly mammoth calves, and they’re even closer to creating a velociraptor grown from a chicken.
I want to hear your sneers and dismissals when that Roomba vacuum cleaner suddenly crawls into bed with you on a cold night, or your phone starts telling you about its feelings.
If they’re growing raptors in Rhode Island Reds, then Boarman and the Robot Rebellion can’t be that far behind.
Don’t say I didn’t warn you – be nice to your robots. Tomorrow, they may be our new masters.
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