Love is in the Air Series: Will You Be My Valentine?
By Cara Beth Smith
Wednesday was February 1st. In stores, you are probably seeing all shades of pink and red, flowers, balloons, and more chocolate than you could ever eat. That means the season of love is now in full swing.
Maybe you are married or in a relationship and have an “automatic Valentine” to share the season with, or maybe you are in search of the perfect eligible Valentine. If you fall in the latter category, you are in luck. We are going to talk about finding your perfect match to celebrate with, plus some Valentine-dating “dos and don’ts.”
Maybe you are talking to or dating someone new – some sort of new “love interest” – How do you tackle Valentine’s day without being “too much?” Sharon Andrea, founder of Modern Dating Mastery, recommends simply asking your partner, “Is there anything special you would like to do to celebrate Valentine’s Day?” That sounds easy enough!
Speaking of “young relationships” – and by young, I mean new – what do you do about gifts? It is definitely smart to have at least a little something for the other person, because you would hate to receive a gift and not have one to give. However, there is no need to go over the top, unless the other person has already revealed that their gift will be as such.
A safe gift idea would be something like a goodie bag with their favorite snacks and candy, or a scented candle, a book, or a gift card to somewhere you know they love. And flowers never go out of fashion.
Perhaps there is someone you are interested in, and you would like to use Valentine’s Day as an opportunity to start something new and show them how you feel. A good, old-fashioned “Will you be my Valentine?” is sweet and romantic in itself. Or if you would like to be a little more bold, maybe you can plan a special date and propose the idea to them to see if they are interested.
If you do choose to plan a date, keep in mind that making a reservation is always a good idea if possible. Most restaurants are swamped on Valentine’s Day, and you may not want to spend hours in the waiting area of a restaurant.
Tips for asking someone out:
1. Ask in person.
2. Before you ask, have a plan, or maybe present a few ideas if not a solid plan.
3. Handle the details. Don’t leave it to the person you ask to arrange transportation, make reservations, or handle any other details.
How to know if someone likes you:
1. “Mirroring” – When someone subtly mimicks your speech and mannerisms. Read more about mirroring here: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/2015/08/the-power-of-mirroring/
2. Understanding space – You can tell a lot about the relationship between two people based on the amount of space between them. (Examples include leaning in, touching, etc.)
3. Belly direction – “In a 1930s study, researcher W.T. James determined that the direction of the torso plays a key role in determining interest,” according to scienceofpeople.com.
4. Asking questions – You can often tell if someone is really interested in what you’re saying by whether or not they ask thoughtful questions to engage.
5. Eye contact – Direct eye contact triggers a little hormone called oxytocin that helps us to feel connected and bonded to another person.
6. Emotional attentiveness – This represents a high level of empathy. For example, they engage in meaningful conversation with you, offer their jacket to you if it’s cold, etc.
7. Preening – The definition of preening is when a person performs behaviors that are aimed at maximizing their physical appearance. Read more at: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/someone-likes-you/
Stay tuned for more articles as we continue our “Love is in the Air” series!