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Why do golfers always carry a spare pair of trousers with them? In case they get a hole in one.
A guy on vacation finishes his round, goes into the clubhouse. The head pro says, “did you have a good time out there? The man replied “fabulous, thank you.” “You’re welcome,” said the pro. “How did you find the greens?” Said the man: “Easy. I just walked to the end of the fairways and there they were.”
After a particularly poor round, a golfer spotted a lake as he walked despondently up the 18th. He looked at his caddy and said, “I’ve played so badly all day, I think I’m going to drown myself in that lake.” The caddie, quick as a flash, replied, “I’m not sure you could keep your head down that long.”