04/24/2019
  • 4:49 pm NICA racers return to Brown’s Creek Bike Trail in Bladen County
  • 4:34 pm Phase II ahead of schedule in downtown Elizabethtown
  • 2:40 pm UNCW presents a two-night celebration featuring selections from operas and operettas
  • 2:38 pm Southeastern Fellowship Senior Golf Association Plays At Deercroft
  • 2:35 pm State Superintendent Mark Johnson Announces $2 million in Federal Grant Aid to Districts and Schools Affected by 2018 Hurricanes
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Jefferson Weaver

By Jefferson Weaver

There’s a whole lot of talk these days about toxic masculinity, whatever that is.

I am of the opinion that many of today’s problems come from a lack of masculinity.

Society has taught men that we are inherently bad. We are often painted as barely one step above Australopithecus, club-wielders incapable of thoughts outside of sex and food. Hence, there are marches to empower women, although I have yet to see how using teaching small children that the foulest of vulgar language, wearing huge genitalia as costumes, or other such antics empower anyone.

There are lengthy, erudite, dumbed-down opinion pieces on how we men can’t help our crude stupidity, and we should be allowed out of our cages only after completing sensitivity training, and then only while wearing a shock collar.

I am only slightly exaggerating – if you watch the videos of the marches in Washington City and elsewhere, you’ll see I am not far off.

I will not apologize for being a man. Just ain’t happening. That doesn’t mean I am one for slapping rear ends, telling dirty jokes, picking fights or participating in belching contests. Such behavior, the way I was raised, is simply unacceptable.

Most of my friends, and a lot of my acquaintances, had similar upbringings. We open and hold doors for ladies. We say sir and m’am. Those of us who do cuss do not do so in mixed company.

I thought about how manners were a big part of growing up when I saw the controversial commercial for a company that makes shaving products. You are welcome to be amused at the irony, since I am rarely acquainted with any shaving product.

The commercial shows men as mindless drones encouraging children to fight, and male executives as sleazeballs about a half-inch from a sexual harassment suit or a well-deserved beating. The commercial implies that bullying, sexual harassment, objectifying and running down women, and other behavior is considered normal.

Normal for whom, I must ask.
I was bullied – try being a chubby kid bigger than the kids two grades up, and unwilling to fight.  I learned to fight to defend myself, and found friends who backed me up. I stood up for myself before friends stood with me. You stand up for yourself, and your friends, and even strangers, or you don’t have the right to call yourself a man. I don’t tolerate bullying, but I also don’t tolerate the victim mentality.

Had I ever been engaged in a fight in the presence of adults — like the commercial shows – I can guarantee you no one would have laughed and said “Boys will be boys.” The fight would have been stopped, the principals questioned, and if necessary, punished. The fight might have been finished later in private, but there would have been ramifications for that as well.
Both my upbringing and my faith give me a very, very low tolerance for blue humor and language. I don’t see such as being a necessary part of being a man.

There were times when I was not a gentleman toward a lady.  I regret that behavior; a stern guilty conscience and the desire not to disappoint my father or disgrace my family are still strong influences.
Again – my upbringing is why I don’t tolerate shoddy behavior toward or around ladies, even when ladies say they can handle it. They shouldn’t have to do so. I am of the solid, Bible-based belief that it’s a man’s fault some guys are idiots, due to the failure of a father, somewhere along the line, even unto the seventh generation, as the verse says. If necessary any man should be ready, willing and able to help correct that fault. It doesn’t mean a woman is weak; it just means a man should do the right thing in the first case.

I like the concept of men encouraging other men to behave, but to package it as your own idea in order to sell razors is silly. And to attempt to paint all masculinity as toxic to produce a spineless generation of girly-boys won’t help. I find it amusing that the firm in question hasn’t yet apologized for its G-girls who wear blue leather-like jumpsuits at NASCAR events, and have the company’s name printed across their backsides.

I have the cynical view that the commercial was designed primarily to encourage women to pressure men into buying these particular products, in hopes of turning sometimes misguided men into some sort of neutered metrosexual housepet.

A watch company has come out with an outstanding response to the razor ad. Mayhap some other razor company will be willing to show fathers who do their best to raise young gentlemen, who by their behavior, their example or if necessary, their fists show other guys it’s not cool to be a jerk.

We need men willing to be fathers, husbands, friends and heroes – not politically correct drones who are taught they are inherently inferior to women.
A friend of mine suggested that rather than gelding young men with drugs and guilt, we should instead establish a finishing school of sorts for boys who, for some reason, cannot be reared by traditional means. Perhaps there is an absentee father and a mom doing her best to raise a boy on her own. Perhaps there is a “traditional” family, but for some reason they have set aside the lessons that created generations who built this country and society, in favor of some milktoast version of something that the stylemakers have decided is fashionable and therefore, correct.

Chris suggested that this finishing school would include intensive classes on scripture; military history; self-restraint and self defense; driving and auto maintenance; hunting, fishing, and preparing meat for consumption; subsistence farming; basic carpentry and home repairs; using and maintaining tools; leadership; grooming and dressing; philosophy and culture; literature and classic poetry; practical math and finance; civics; and other skills that are for some reason being forgotten or outlawed.

No matter how loud the pink-hatted protestors and professors scream, men and women were made differently, with different skills, to complement each other. We were designed to work hand in hand and side by side, either literally or figuratively. We each have different strengths and perspectives, because God knew and still knows what He was and is doing.

Men and women were designed to be different from each other – not better than the other, not supremely superior to one another, not subservient  — just different. When we recognize that, we’re all truly closer to being our best.

If my opinion “triggers” someone, or hurts feelings, I am truly sorry.  It wasn’t my intent.

Just blame it on being a man.

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