By Cara Beth Lewis
Customs, traditions, rules, and extensive “dos and don’ts” can be overwhelming when it comes to weddings – whether it is your wedding or not. Weddings are a big deal, and to some people, they are a REALLY big deal. Understanding basic wedding etiquette can help you plan or attend a wedding with confidence and avoid an angry bride!
When reading the following information, remember that all weddings are different. Common sense is always a great tool to use when determining how to dress, gift-give, and more for the big day. However, proper etiquette is well-respected. For more information about what etiquette is, read the first article of BladenOnline’s Etiquette Series here.
“Wedding Etiquette” is broad, and if we are being honest, a daunting topic. From the engagement to parties and showers, to the ceremony and reception, to appropriate gifting, to “thank you” notes, it is certainly a lot to digest. In this article, we will tackle the question of “What do I wear?”
All basic etiquette rules apply when it comes to wedding etiquette. Always remember the three key principles – consideration, respect, and honesty. From there, you will be able to properly assess situations while avoiding selfishness, rudeness, and disrespect.
Wedding Attire
What to wear, what to wear…
As a wedding guest, sometimes its hard to determine what attire is appropriate for the event. If you are a part of the wedding party, it has more than likely been discussed with the bride and groom so you have less to worry about. On the other hand, wedding guests plan their outfits without the input of the bride and groom, typically.
First, you need to know is it formal, semi-formal, or in-formal? Answering these questions will help guide you to the perfect outfit for the happy couple’s big day.
Formal
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Daytime
Women*: Cocktail or dressy afternoon dress
Men: Dark suit; conservative shirt and tie.
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Evening
Women*: Depending on local customs, long evening dress or dressy cocktail dress; gloves optional.
Men: Tuxedo (required if invitation states “Black tie”) or dark suit.
Semi-Formal
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Daytime
Women*: Dressy afternoon dress, suit, or pantsuit.
Men: Dark suit; Blazer, grey flannels, tie.
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Evening
Women: Cocktail dress, dressy pantsuit.
Men: Dark suit.
Informal
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Daytime
Women*: Afternoon dress; dressy skirt or pants and blouse.
Men: Sports jacket or blazer, slacks, tie optional.
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Evening
Women*: Afternoon or cocktail dress.
Men: Blazer, grey flannel or slacks, tie optional.
*Hats or head coverings optional (unless required).
In the words of EmilyPost.com, “The way you present yourself matters. From posture and gesture to the quality of a laugh to the clothing that makes you feel comfortable in the situation, your image is something you are creating all the time. Approached as an opportunity there is so much you can do to set yourself up for success in any situation. Knowing when to notch it up and when to notch it down is part of making intelligent choices in an increasingly casual and informal world.”
Ultimately, when attending a wedding you want your appearance to display respect for yourself, for the bride and groom, and for the dignity of the event. Always consider the venue. Is it indoors or outdoors? Is it in a religious building? It is also important to consider whether or not the bride and groom have requested a certain color scheme or theme that you should follow while remembering if formal, semi-formal, or informal attire is most appropriate.
Remember that it is not a competition. Dress well without having the goal to outdress the other guests. It is even more important to avoid competing with the bride and groom. Ladies, it is never a good idea to wear white to a wedding that isn’t your own. Let the bride have her white dress-moment without competition.
Ultimately, respect is key. While considering your own comfort, also consider how your appearance will affect the event. Being well-groomed and well-dressed is important when attending a wedding. After all, it is one of the most important days in the lives of the couple, and guests should always consider the bride and groom’s feelings when it comes to all aspects of weddings.
There is much more to weddings than just attire, but attire is certainly a good place to start when it comes to understanding wedding etiquette. Stay tuned for the rest of BladenOnline’s etiquette series to continue to learn how to improve your etiquette knowledge and skills in varying aspects of your life.
Previous articles from the Etiquette Series:
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